Peter Pan - J.M. Barrie

Chalk up this unusual selection to my deck of cards. Knowing the story pretty well (and having watched the Disney version and Hook), I would have never picked this up on my own. But it actually did make for an interesting read, only because the details in the story are so much more bizarre than just the general plot. Barrie makes for a weird story-teller: oftentimes he is very cute and his writing is very silly (like Alice in Wonderland), but his writing also has an undercurrent of biting sarcasm (in the way the narrator will mock Mr. and Mrs. Darling, or call the children heartless, or deride Peter Pan). It's not something that is very pronounced but it just sounds like the narrator (who I assume is Barrie, but I suppose it could just be a made-up voice) is mean to the characters and doesn't necessarily like them.

I was surprised at how prominent the themes about motherhood and growing up without a mother actually are in the story. Peter doesn't just like Wendy a lot, he wants a mother. It's not just Peter Pan either. All the Lost Boys, and even the pirates, want a mother more than anything else. The pirates kidnap Wendy so she'll be their mother. And Peter won't admit it but the most scarring event in his life was being separated from his mother (I don't remember if the mother left him or he left his mother). It also gets complicated when Wendy does grow up and become a mother for real, because now Peter hates her for growing up but he still wants a mother so he turns to...Wendy's daughter. And then Wendy's granddaughter. And, in today's skeptical society, that sounds very odd I guess, but I think the point is that, for Peter (and, I suppose, the other motherless characters), grown-ups can't be caring and nurturing and adventurous all at the same time, but children can as long as they are "gay and innocent and heartless."

Now, the heartless part sounds weird to me, but those are the author's words. Barrie (or the narrator) is saying children are heartless because they can very easily leave their parents and go off with Peter Pan like Wendy and John and Michael and forget about their home and forget they ever had parents and not realize their parents are back home, sad and waiting. So, is he saying that's a good thing? It's also difficult to say whether he thinks growing up is a good thing or a bad thing. He writes that Neverland is this wonderful place where children don't grow up, where they will always be innocent and happy. But Neverland also makes them forget their family and so they become "heartless" and selfish (in the case of Peter, he eventually even forgets about Hook, and about Tinkerbell, and he forgets about Wendy to such an extent that he doesn't see her again for years). But then everyone (including the Lost Boys, except Peter Pan) return to England and everyone grows up and they settle down "to being as ordinary as you or me."

I think that, in the end, the point Barrie is trying to make ends up being more than just "never grow up" (which seems to be how his story is always remembered). I think what the moral of the story amounts to is that growing up is inevitable, and refusing to grow up just makes you selfish and heartless, but growing up doesn't mean you have to stop believing in innocence and adventure and wonder (even though Wendy grows up, she still remembers Peter fondly and retells his story to her own daughter).

I also have to mention that Hook is the most interesting and complex character in the story. He's not just the one-dimensional ruthless pirate. I mean, he is a pretty typical ruthless pirate, but he's also trying to be an effective and respected leader - while at the same time suffering from soul-crushing self-consciousness and doubts about his ability. He's always concerned with "good form" (with playing by the rules and with appearing to others as a gentleman who is skilled in proper social conduct) - while at the same time being a backstabber and knowing full well that much of what he does is in "bad form." Actually, I found the "good form-bad form" internal struggle Hook has surprising to read, because I thought that was just something that was thrown into the Hook movie version. After reading the story, though, I can say that Hook is the most faithful adaptation of the actual story (if you ignore that Peter Pan is played by a very grown up Robin Williams), right down to the issues about Peter's mother and Hook and many other things. Well, even the montage where we see Wendy growing up and becoming older and all that, is in the story. The Disney version just captures the silliness and the adventure (although it does do a good job of capturing Peter as a jerk...he was kind of a conceited brat). And I know I watched the new Peter Pan movie, but I mostly remember being bored with that one.

I almost want to watch Hook now.

18 down, 34 to go.

How to Piss Off a Country in 13 Steps: Lessons from Honduras

The following is a step-by-step guide on how to become the most hated guy in Honduras. Thanks to ex-President Zelaya for his contributions.

1. Announce that, as President, you want to add a ballot during the regularly scheduled elections (November 2009) to determine whether a Constitutional Assembly should be convened to amend the Constitution (but don't announce what changes you're hoping to make, even if people suspect that you're trying to amend the one-term law which limits a President's term to four years and prohibits re-election).

2. Decide that you will conduct an opinion poll to allow the general public to vote on whether they want to add the aforementioned ballot to the elections (regardless of the fact that the Constitution prevents any referendums from being made 180 days prior to or after an election, and regardless of the fact that the executive branch does not have the authority to hold such a vote).

3. After Congress passes a bill prohibiting the opinion poll (which they've ruled is unconstitutional, as mentioned in step 2), decide that you'll use your taxpayer's money to hire an independent firm to conduct the vote.

4. Order your Chief of Armed Forces to distribute the ballot boxes (which Congress said was illegal). (Note: the Armed Forces is the entity that conducts elections so you have to ask them to do this).

5. At this point your Chief of Armed Forces will refuse to carry out this illegal activity for you. Fire him promptly. The commanders of the Air Force and Navy will resign in protest but you can just announce that you'll run things completely on your own from now on.

6. Congress will then say "Excuse me, you can't fire these people, they will be reinstated, ok? Thanks, bye-bye." You may now refuse to comply with this announcement and retaliate by leading a mob into the Armed Forces Headquarters to pick up the ballot boxes in order to distribute them yourself. While it is legal for you to enter Headquarters, it may be seen as illegal to break through the gate and lead civilians in, but just go ahead and disregard that for now.

7. Collect the ballot boxes that were assembled in, and delivered from, Venezuela. Your good friend Hugo Chavez, who oversaw the assembly (and maybe stuffed the boxes for you in advance) sends his best and wishes you good luck.

8. Brace yourself, because now that you've pissed off Congress, the Supreme Court, and your own political party, they will be sending the Army over to your house to walk you out at gunpoint and put you on a plane and expatriate you to Costa Rica (they should arrest you and put you in jail but this could lead to civil violence, so they would rather decide to send you away). This will endear you to the international community so don't worry just yet. And mention your pajamas repeatedly.

9. The international community will now rally to you, despite your strong ties to Castro and Chavez, and demand that you be reinstated (we can't figure out why they fail to understand that your removal from office was legally mandated either, so just roll with it).

10. After a few days of putting your cause out there, and getting support from the media and other governments, decide that you will triumphantly return to your country to take up your post.

11. When the army blocks the runway with their tanks and prevents you from landing, just send out a call over national radio asking your supporters to break into the runway and show those armed soliders who's boss. One of your supporters will unfortunately lose his life over this crazy endeavor, and the runway will remain blocked so that you'll have to land in El Salvador, but at least you got the media attention you wanted.

12. For the love of God, don't try to go back to Honduras! They have about 12 arrest warrants with your name on them, including treason and drug trafficking. Stay low, continue to fly around to Washington and Costa Rica and gather international support for your cause.

13. At this point the international community will appoint a Nobel Peace laureate as mediator so that you and the interim government that was legally appointed after you were exiled can reach an agreement. The interim government will obstinately refuse to reinstate you and threaten to arrest you if you return but you still have international support. Find a way to drag this out forever.

Ta-da!

This step-by-step guide does not include the pre-requisite tasks that must be concluded first in order to fully piss of a country. These actions include appealing to the poorest sectors of society claiming you are "one of the people" despite your multi-million business enterprises; flying yourself, your family, your extended family, your servants, and your horse to various countries on taxpayer money (call it public relations); allying yourself with Chavez and joining him in talking crap about the U.S., your traditional ally and largest trading partner (also disregarding the thousands of Honduran immigrants that are awaiting a decision on their refugee status in the U.S.). There's more but this should keep you busy for now.

Congratulations, you've just become the most hated man in Honduras!

***

In all seriousness, if this was a research paper, I would have cited all the steps listed above. But (thank God!) I'm not in school anymore so I don't have to follow the rules. Instead, I've assembled a bunch of links that explain and document the situation better than I have (I'm no political or legal expert, I'm just a relocated Honduran that is worried and upset and a tad pissed off at several people, including Clinton (cow)). A million thanks to my friend Figgy and to La Gringa for rounding up these links. Please check out their sites if you want to learn more, they're doing an amazing job of reporting on the issue from the actual scene.

Events leading up to removal of President Zelaya

Following the removal of President Zelaya

Diplomatic Attempts

Trying to return to the country

The U.S. Stance

Chavez being insane

Going on in U.S. Congress

It wasn't a coup

Testimony of The Honorable Otto J. Reich, Committee on Foreign Affairs

Why Honduras Sent Zelaya Away

Requiem for a Dream With a Happy Ending

I finally got around to watching Slumdog Millionarie this weekend (or, I should say, Netflix finally got around to sending me a copy after it had been on Very Long Wait status for about five weeks). As you can probably tell from the title of this post (assuming you've watched Requiem for a Dream), this movie reminded me a lot of that movie. In other words, it's a movie where a lot of really messed-up things happen to generally decent people (though I guess the people in Requiem weren't all that decent). Like Requiem, this movie made me cringe, made me depressed, and (strangely enough) made me sick to my stomach. While the queasy feeling in my stomach is partly due to a scene where a kid is blinded using scalding oil (I didn't appreciate the vomiting scene either), it is mostly due to the incredibly annoying way in which the movie was shot. The shaky camera, the out of focus shots, and the running sequences shot with hand-held cameras gave me vertigo and a headache approximately 20 minutes into the movie.

The story itself was interesting. Jamal, from the slums of Mumbai, India, enters India's "Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?" game show. Exceeding all expectations, he answers all questions correctly up to the 10 million rupee question, which he blindly guesses (though, honestly, that would never be a top question because it is a ridiculously easy answer). Suspected of cheating, he is questioned by the police, where he retells the critical events in his life that have shaped him into who he is. More importantly though, he has gathered bits of knowledge from these events, which is how he is able to answer the game show questions.

The movie is undeniably powerful, emotional, and generally quite good. And, unlike Requiem, it has a happy ending, so that's neat. Now, I've always said that Requiem for a Dream is a really good movie, but I will never, ever watch it again. Never. Same goes for Slumdog Millionaire. It's a good movie (mind you, I didn't say really good...the directing is too messed up for that), but I will never, ever watch it again. If I want to get really depressed, I'll just look at my bank account. I think it's funny that the movie review on that poster is "the feel-good movie of the decade." Yeah, ok, you feel good at the end when he gets the girl and he gets the money. But, to me, it didn't make up for the previous hour and 40 minutes of down-trodden, life-is-crappy, story.