The Golden Compass - Phillip Pullman

Its funny how there are some book reviews that I can't wait to write because I've got a lot to say about the book. Then there are others that I try to put off because I don't have much to say or because the books were so good that I can't find the right stuff to say. But now, for the first time, I completely forgot all about writing this book review. Well, it's not my fault; it just wasn't a hugely memorable book.

I wonder if I'm losing my ability to read children's books. I devoured Harry Potter books when they came out, but that was a while ago, I guess. But reading this book was just not very fun, and it bordered on being pretty boring.

The story takes place on an alternate universe (see, it sounds very Star Trek already, it should have been awesome). In this universe, a human's conscience/soul/imaginary friend/what have you, personifies itself in the shape of an animal (known as a daemon) that is intimately and innately bound to its human. Apparently Pullman got this concept from paintings such as Leonardo Da Vinci’s “Lady with an Ermine,” Giovanni Battista Tiepolo's "Young Lady with a Parrot," and Hans Holbein the Younger's "Lady with a Squirrel," which featured women holding animals. It's not a bad idea and Pullman develops the human/daemon relationship fairly well (though, logistically, I find it impossible to conceive of 6 billion plus animals following 6 billion plus humans around all the time, in the market, at work, in the bathroom, during a one-night stand; what do the daemons do then, what do they eat, what if you don't like your daemon…). Anyway, this alternate universe also features talking armored bears, witches, some ghoulish flying thing named a cliff-ghast, and there are possibly a few other weird creatures in there that I don’t remember.

The story centers on 12-year-old Lyra Belacqua and the sudden dramatic changes that take place in her life when a mysterious group of people start kidnapping children. Sometime prior to embarking on her adventure, and before delving into what passes for this book’s plot, she receives the golden compass, which is like a Ouija board that tells you the truth when you ask it a question (and, possibly, it conjures up the image of that girl that drowned in the lake down the road that a friend of a friend heard someone talk about ages ago). The fact that Lyra can read this compass makes her very very special but, true to the children’s book mystery genre, we don’t find out why, at least not in this book.

Anyway, Lyra sets out to find out what’s happening to the missing children, and eventually she sets out with others to rescue them, and then she finds out what’s happening to them, and then other stuff happens because there needs to be a sequel to this book. What happens to the children is the only thing this plot has going for it so I won’t divulge the details. It’s hard to briefly describe the plot of this book because there are a ton of side plots: Lyra’s parents, the armored bear’s civil war, the witches’ civil war, the nature of Dust (a mysterious particle that people are keen to research regardless of the cost), and the evil machinations of organized religion.

I didn’t mind the personification of organized religion as a dictatorial, conniving, unscrupulous institution. It’s not new. But the dwelling on it and the lengthy discussions on original sin and the explanations on the religious hierarchy and the details on the different political groups was a bit of overkill. I wonder how many kids are able to waddle through all that and keep reading. It just felt like a lot of adult content thrown in there (and by that I don’t mean that it should be rated PG-13 for mild language and suggestive scenes, I mean that it’s like reading a newspaper article about Hamas and Fatah: interesting but somber).

But, I will admit, I did not completely hate this book. I didn’t even mildly hate it. It was all right. Not very memorable and a bit too serious for a children’s story, but set in an interesting alternate world with likable characters (particularly Lyra and the main armored bear).

Oh, and also, the audiobook version is excellent. This is probably why I kept going with the book, and the only reason I got the second book. The story is narrated by Phillip Pullman himself, but all the characters are read by actors. All the voices are great (the voice of Iorek, the armored bear, I had hoped would be different, more like Michael Clark Duncan in The Green Mile, but instead it’s more like Treebeard in The Two Towers…just wrong). My favorite was the voice of Mrs. Coulter, the story’s villain. She sounds very sweet and lovely and innocent and then she sounds like a complete cow, it works so well.

The Ups and Downs (and the Gates)

This week started on a sour note. I need to renew my passport, which should really just amount to showing up at a particular destination with some choice documents, forking over way too much cash for a fake-leather bound booklet, and proceeding with life as usual. Not leaving it up to fate, I decided to call ahead and make sure I had the right documents. Picture me, starting out her Monday morning at work, coffee in hand, ready to get the day going, dialing up the number for customer service, asking if so-and-so documents are the ones needed, and getting the bitchiest call center attendant known to man. Ok, A) I realize being a call center attendant is not all daisies and sunshine; I hate talking on the phone too, I get it; I hate people in general, I understand that too. And B) it sounds like you must really hate life cause, after all, you ended up as a call center attendant. But, damn it to hell, why take it out on me? I don't want to relive the tediousness here but in all my time calling customer service numbers I have never had a ruder, meaner, and dumber attendant. A minute into the call I was really regretting that I had no way to record the conversation. Jerk.

Tuesday was considerably much more fun. Rock and I met up after work for dinner and Up. I'd been wanting to see this for some time and, strangely enough, our tiny town was playing it in 3D. Judging from the trailers, it looks like all animated movies will now be offered in 3D. The movie looked very good in 3D, though there are times when the image can look a little blurry, particularly around the edges. It's also funny how your brain adjusts to it after a while and then you no longer seem to notice that it's in 3D. The movie itself was awesome. Of course, I was bawling during the opening sequences. I'm worried that the last animated movie I saw was Wall-E and that also had me bawling at times. Apparently the animated movies are getting to be too emotional for me. I am such a wuss.

Tuesday was also like Christmas, because when I got home I found that my recent Amazon purchase was waiting for me: Stargate SG-1 The Complete Series Collection. Just look at it. It makes me ridiculously happy for some reason and I can't wait to start watching.

It is seriously so shiny...and cubic.

However, Tuesday was also like those Christmases where you have your heart set on getting a certain gift and then you open the box and it's socks or something (I'll be honest, though, I love socks, especially if they are fuzzy or striped or soft). When I opened the Stargate box, I looked over the DVD's and several of them had scratches on them, which displeased me greatly because the Amazon third-party vendor claimed the set was brand-new but they clearly just shrink-wrapped a used set and delivered an item that was clearly not new. I've written a strongly worded email, demanding to know what they plan to do about it and if they will exchange it for a brand-new item or give me my money back. Most likely they will say that those are the breaks. At which point I will slink away with my slightly defective Stargate box, though that doesn't mean I will love it any less. It's ok SG-1, it's not your fault.

Finally, today I was almost sideswiped by some jerk with Florida plates. Like I wasn't even there. I honked my horn like there was no tomorrow and then look over to see that the moron is laughing. Scared to death with my heart about to jump out the roof, I honk again, make a rude gesture to indicate he watch where he's going, and then realize I should probably keep my eyes on the road and watch where I'm going. Did I already mention today that I hate people? I thought so.

And it's only Thursday to boot.

The Metamorphosis - Franz Kafka

This is yet another of the cards in 52 Great Books to Read. Many thanks to Project Gutenberg for the text.

I believe I read this at some point in high school for a class. I had very little recollection of what happens in it besides what is common knowledge anyway, that the story is about a man turning into an insect.

Indeed, that is the plot of this short story. Gregor Samsa, a traveling salesman, wakes up in his home one day to discover that he has turned into a "horrible vermin." Literally, not figuaritvely. He has an armour-like back, a domed belly divided into sections, and many tiny legs. There is no actual process of metamorphosis in the book. This is not The Fly, in which we witness the (disgusting) progression of man into insect. In the story's famous first sentence, the entire metamorphosis takes place. Gregor wakes up a bug. The rest of the story is about Gregor as a bug and the happenings in a bug's life.

Thus we are offered no explanation as to how or why the change happened. We are simply introduced to a flustered Gregor, who is very confused but primarily very worried because he is in no condition to go to work and he cannot afford to lose his job. He hates his job, he hates his boss, he hates his co-workers, but he is the sole provider for his parents and sister with whom he lives. So he must make every attempt to get out of bed, despite his condition, and at least call in sick or try to catch a later train.

Kafka seriously underplays the improbability of a human suddenly transforming into a bug by writing in a very matter-of-fact style, thus underplaying the absurdity of the metamorphosis. As if turning into a bug is something that happens every day to anyone. The real conflict or exploration in the story is not how or why Gregor has been transformed but the consequences that result from his transformation: he loses his job, his family shuns him and locks him up because of how he looks, and his parents and sister must learn to provide for themselves.

A very brief look at articles that turned up during my Google search indicate that this story has been interpreted in tons of ways. It shows up in psychology and religious discussions, in existentialism and modernism and magical realism, and in biographies of Kafka (that the story is a reflection on Kafka's relationship with his dad). I don't know about any of that, I didn't really read the articles. What did strike me about the book is the writing style, which I guess is why the story is so famous, because it presents such an absurd situation in a very straightfoward way.

I also read somewhere in there that Kafka thought the story was very amusing and that he and his friends would laugh when he read it to them. I can see some humor but mostly I just felt really bad for Gregor. His life is stopped short the moment he turns into a bug, and instead of being a provider and productive person he becomes a recluse, he can't leave his room and he can't do much except run on the walls and ceilings and try to communicate with his family, who now feel his existence is a huge burden to them. I was very intrigued to find out what becomes of him and was saddened by the ending. Poor Gregor :(

17 down, 35 to go.

My Draenei Character: The Battle Within

Disclaimer: I realize I haven't moved too far from book reviews and WoW posts on this site...I assure you I am capable of writing about other things. I will attempt to do so...someday.

I have a shaky relationship with the Alliance from World of Warcraft. My very first WoW character ever was a night elf warrior. She got up to 22 before I dropped her for some forgotten reason (possibly I got bored running around the bleak landscape of Darkshore but maybe I just decided to save myself some grief brought on by Rock's incessant nagging that I roll Horde). I'll admit, the starting landscape for the trolls is much prettier, all reds and oranges and bright sunshine and crystal blue waters and breakdancing trolls that greet you with "How ya doin, mon!" So I was quite happy with my Horde home. There was a brief stint where I leveled up a gnome mage to 20 or something just cause they're so darn cute and tiny, but I stuck with the Horde.

I stuck with the Horde, even despite their abysmal showing at certain battlegrounds, particularly Alterac Valley. My poor little troll shaman couldn't last 5 minutes without being viciously killed by the Alliance. It was during these particular moments that the grass looked way greener on the other side. But the Alliance races didn't appeal to me, the humans look boring, the night elves were boring, the gnomes are cute, I'll admit that, and the dwarves, well, just no. I know, there's no rhyme or reason as the saying goes, I just wasn't interested.

Until, that is, the Burning Crusade expansion introduced the draenei. Part of me really wished the Horde got the draenei instead of getting the annoying blood elves, but the side of me that looked longingly at all those battleground victories by the Alliance realized I had finally found an Alliance race I would like to play. And how could you not? The draenei are so weird, they have goat legs and cloven hoofs, a lizard tail, tentacles coming out of their jaws, and huge glowing eyes. And their skin ranges from purple to blue. And they're technically aliens that crash-landed from outer space. Awesome.

Just look at those hoofs! And the horns! It's like the designers were drunk drawing this.

I immediately leveled up a draenei paladin to 37, at which point I decided PvP servers were not for me and I switched to a non-PvP server. I was busy leveling up my new Horde character so I forgot about the draenei until a few weeks ago when I started leveling up a draenei shaman. She's currently 30. But now I am faced with a decision, one that has stumped many others before me, that has incited dozens of articles and webpages dedicated to sorting out that all-important question: shaman or paladin?

No other two classes are compared against each other so often, and with such zeal (I think....). Once upon a time, paladins were only available to the Alliance while shamans were only available to the Horde, so the two classes were intentionally pitted against each other by Blizzard. That changed with BC when the classes became available to both sides. So even though technically these two classes aren't supposed to stand against each other anymore, the debate is still there. I know I'm still wading through it.

I started a paladin because I had never played one before and they certainly seemed to have an easy time of it by getting into their little bubble that absorbs all damage, and healing to full health in an instant, and wearing plate armor. But I think I was getting bored with the paladin, there just didn't seem to be anything too interesting going on. When I started my second draenei, I decided to try a shaman because I just really like shamans. As I write this now, I realize there's no good reason why, I just do, so I did.

But now I've decided to really evaluate that decision. I mean, I already have a shaman, I already leveled up my troll shaman all the way to 72. Why bother leveling up a second one? Shouldn't I try something new? Was the paladin really that boring? Won't I get my butt kicked a lot less if I'm a paladin? Don't shamans get invited to less groups than paladins? Aren't shamans more fun? Do I really want to start a draenei for the third time?

On and on, believe me, I bore myself, it's not just you. In the end, I have no idea. I can barely decide if I would rather have a waffle or an english muffin with cheese when I go out to breakfast. I wish WoW people read this and I could get bullied into picking one. Or that more people read this and I could put it to a vote. As it is, I will probably agonize about it for a few more days until I finally settle with the path of most laziness and decide to not start a character over and be content to have my shaman and get my butt whooped by paladins and always think: "darn it, the grass looks greener on that paladin's lawn..."

What is the Deal with Seinfeld?

I've accomplished a (relatively) monumental task, that of watching all nine seasons of Seinfeld from start to finish. This monumental task is, actually, diminished by the fact that over the course of my life I have, at one point or another, watched every single Seinfeld episode ever made. There was not one episode in the entire collection that I did not recognize. I'm not sure what that says, or if it says anything, but the point is that I've always loved Seinfeld and I guess it shows.

In terms of the Seinfeld episodes, there was not much new for me to discover by watching the whole collection except for a couple of bits of information that I never quite pieced together before. These have added to my Seinfeld lore. For example, at the end of season two Jerry and Elaine reunite as a couple. This storyline was only there because the creators (Jerry Seinfeld and Larry David) were certain the show wouldn't be picked up for season three. But, it is not a storyline the creators wanted to pursue, which is why there is no continuity between seasons two and three. Also, I didn't realize David stopped writing for Seinfeld. Consequently, episodes from seasons 8 and 9 have a very different feel from what the beginning of the show was. In particular, I missed the opening bits of Seinfeld doing his standup comedy.

I also learned that Kramer's name was actually Kessler in the pilot, which connects to a subtle joke in episode 8 of season 9 (The Betrayal, the famous backwards episode) that has a scene where Jerry and Kramer meet for the first time and Jerry, trying to remember Kramer's name, says "It's Kessler, right?" Actually, I learned several other tidbits of information that I never knew, mostly from the DVD extras. My favorite DVD extra was the "Notes About Nothing." During the episodes, instead of subtitles, you can activate the notes, which contain trivia about the episodes, the storylines, the production, etc.

I also never quite realized how many jokes or situations from one episode resurface in later episodes. There are several running jokes like this that span entire seasons. It was also interesting to watch how much the show grew, from being on the brink of cancellation during the first few seasons to exploding into a huge hit. It went from being written solely by David (who really didn't want the gig to begin with) and Seinfeld to being written by a large team.

It's hard to pick favorite episodes but on the top of my list is The Opera, episode 9 from season 4. I think this one is my all time favorite because it has a creepy, suspenful feel to it with the stalker and the clown, and it also has Jerry doing a hilarious song and dance of the theme song from The Bugs Bunny Show, and Kramer singing bits from Pagliacci. From the "notes about nothing" I learned that the Crazy Joe Davola character was named after someone the writers actually knew. This is the character that stalks Elaine during the episode. In real life, Julia Louis-Dreyfus didn't know there was a real person named Joe Davola so she was seriously freaked out when the real Joe Davola introduced himself to her at a party, thinking it was a real stalker. The Betrayal is another really good episode, which can be watched forwards on the DVD (but it's better backwards). I also find that I've picked up quite a few Seinfeld lines that I say all the time: serenity now, look at it, these pretzels are making me thirsty, that's a shame, if that helps you.

I must acknowledge something that I knew back in 1998 when the episode first aired, and that is that the series finale was pretty bad. I'm sure the pressure was huge to end the series with a bang, and there's also the feeling that there just isn't a good enough ending to a show like this. But it went pretty bad there at the very end. I didn't have a problem with them ending up in jail and that part of the plot (that's actually not bad). And I also really liked that they brought back so many memorable guest characters. But the episode itself was too serious at times, and it was very fragmented, and some of the guest characters were not that funny. Worst of all, I was actually a bit bored. I had hoped that time would give me a different perspective, but I still think that was the worst Seinfeld episode. However, the hour-long clip show that preceded the series finale is another Seinfeld episode I would put at the top of my absolute favorites list. It certainly makes the list for best clip show for a sitcom, hands down.

I think the next DVD show I must compulsively own and watch is Stargate SG-1.

Song of Solomon - Toni Morrison

This is going to be one of those reviews where I won't be able to do the book any justice. This is one the books listed in my deck of cards, 52 Great Books to Read, so I figured it would be good. It was, in fact, amazing, and that's not saying much. It follows the life of Macon "Milkman" Dead III, an African-American living in Michigan. His nickname, Milkman, is given to him after neighbors discover that his mother has breastfed him way past the appropriate age. His grandfather was erroneously registered as Macon Dead after he was released from slavery. His father has overcome a difficult childhood to establish himself as one of the most prosperous people in his town. His mother has shut down emotionally due to her abusive and unloving marriage. His sisters have allowed life to pass them by. His aunt saved his life while he was still in the womb. His cousin has fallen dangerously in love with him. His best friend Guitar wants to kill him. The novel explores the lives of all these characters, weaving in and out of their stories, of the past, the present.

It's one of those books that is probably assigned in English class. The discussion will most certainly include racism, the quest for identity, the plight of women who are left behind to assume responsibilities after men pursue their own freedom, the significance and relevance of Biblical names and allusions, the search for one's ancestry and its effect on the present, the effects of greed and unrequited love, the nurturing female, and not to mention symbolism (singing, flying, names).

It's been compared to Gabriel Garcia Marquez's "One Hundred Years of Solitude," because of its fluidity of prose, its focus on the impact of ancestors on subsequent generations and the character traits that resurface over and over, and some use of magical realism (talking to ghosts, a woman born without a navel, people flying). The prose is certainly impressive and it became my favorite thing about the book, because I would pick it up and be immersed immediately and not want to put it down. It is a beautifully written, captivating story. It has a leisurely pace for the first 3/4 or so, where Morrison weaves between the stories of the different characters. The last quarter of the book is absolutely gripping and even grander than everything that preceded it.

There may have to be another Morrison book for me in the future.

16 books done, 36 to go.

All the Pretty Horses - Cormac McCarthy

The desert he rode was red and red the dust he raised, the small dust that powdered the legs of the horse he rode, the horse he led. This is not how McCarthy's novel starts, but it sums up quite nicely the main imagery of the story, which is that of a young cowboy riding through the desert plains of Mexico, owning nothing but a horse, having left behind his dead beloved grandfather and his uncaring mother who sold out their farm from under him, looking for nothing more than a place to go. I didn't have any expectations for this book. I only picked it because I needed a new audio book and this one was narrated by Frank Muller, who I've gone on about before for being an awesome narrator. I really need to write a post on Muller alone because I've pretty much decided that I will only listen to his books until I have no more of his books to listen to.

Anyway, more about the audio book later. I picked this particular book narrated by Muller because it promised to be a cowboy story and I did just finish reading Wizard and Glass and wanted more cowboy-type stories. The end result was that I love this book.

I'm no expert on cowboys (beyond watching Fistful of Dollars and The Magnificent Seven...ok, watching for the most part with some dozing off), but McCarthy seems to know his stuff. In any case, for the uninitiated like me, the western culture sounded very believable. I'm also no expert on horses but, again, the writing sounds like McCarthy is an expert on horses (or a very good researcher).

The story is about John Grady Cole who leaves his home in Texas after his grandfather's death and, along with his friend Lacey Rawlins, heads for Mexico to find work as a cowboy. Along the way, they meet up with a mysterious kid who calls himself Jimmy Blevins. What follows is a series of unfortunate events, a wealthy ranch owner and his beautiful daughter, wild colts and a magnificent stallion, a strong-willed matriarch, a rogue town sheriff, murders, a Mexican jail.

I realize the whole "cowboy falls in love with the wealthy daughter" line is very trite, but damn it if I didn't love this love story and totally believed that Cole and Alejandra were meant for each other and if McCarthy had expanded on the difficult love relationship more than he did I would have bawled. But I didn't, because it isn't a mushy love story, it is a gritty, heartbreaking love story and it might make a decent dramatic telenovela with a cheesier writer but McCarthy keeps the writing raw. He doesn't overload the sentimental details but you still get tenderness, longing, regret, loss. Other events that happen besides the love story can be violent, cruel, sympathetic, funny, depressing, terrifying. It made perfect sense for me to learn that McCarthy also wrote "No Country for Old Men." Also, and I'm having a hard time coming up with ways to describe how the story is told but, some events in the book are told slowly while other events jump out all of a sudden. The effect is that the book can at times be intimate in its leisurely descriptions and at other times be hectic and take you completely by surprise.

The writing style makes use of polysyndetonic syntax, which is not something I would have known on my own but it's what the Wikipedia article on the book mentions, and it certainly is true. Basically, it's the use of extremely long sentences joined together by conjunctions (like "and," "or"). That can be an annoying feature to some, but it really sets up a flow and it is especially interesting to listen to. I'm copying a quote below, which is rather long, but it is a good example of this style.

He stood hat in hand over the unmarked earth. This woman who had worked for his family fifty years. She had cared for his mother as a baby and she had worked for his family long before his mother was born and she had known and cared for the wild Grady boys who were his mother's uncles and who had all died so long ago and he stood holding his hat and he called her his abuela and he said goodbye to her in Spanish and then turned and put on his hat and turned his wet face to the wind and for a moment he held out his hands as if to steady himself or as if to bless the ground there or perhaps as if to slow the world that was rushing away and seemed to care nothing for the old or the young or rich or poor or dark or pale or he or she. Nothing for their struggles, nothing for their names. Nothing for the living or the dead.

The audio book was also very good. Muller excels at character voices and giving each voice a distinct personality. His accents (Mexican, southern drawl, female, you name it) are extremely convincing and it's hard to believe that he is the only one doing the voices. I did say the run-on style is interesting to listen to but it can be slightly hypnotic too (but I tend to zone out with any audio book, so it's my fault really).

I have less hope for the movie being good because I remember watching it ages ago and thinking it was boring. Besides, if I watch it with Rock I'll have to hear him say "Matt Damon" like the Team America guys every five minutes. I'm not saying that's not funny. I'm just saying I, too, have a hard time taking Matt Damon seriously. And an equally hard time seeing his name without doing the voice too.

"He thought that in the beauty of the world were hid a secret. He thought the world's heart beat at some terrible cost and that the world's pain and its beauty moved in a relationship of diverging equity and that in this headlong deficit the blood of multitudes might ultimately be exacted for the vision of a single flower."~ "All the Pretty Horses", Cormac McCarthy

True Love

What is true love? How do you know you’ve got that something in a relationship that makes you say “I love this person, and they love me?” Love might be that he has dinner ready every night because he knows I’ve been on a long, stressful drive. Or it might be randomly buying me a chocolate cupcake because he knows chocolate makes any day instantly better. Or putting up with my random sad/whiny/angry moods when I’m being a real jerk and picking a fight and he just wants to be left alone, poor guy. Or taking me to my favorite steakhouse, even though he doesn’t like red meat. But the real proof, I think, was surprising me by transferring my level 72 shaman from our original player vs. player server to our new non PvP server.

For days now I’ve been working myself up to actually spend money to transfer my character. We moved to a non PvP server because we couldn’t go 30 minutes without getting killed by some jerk in our PvP server. There was no way leveling up to 80 was going to happen that way. So we gave up on our dearly beloved characters and started fresh in a server where PvP combat is optional. It worked really well and in no time at all I had a level 71 hunter and he had a level 73 shaman. But I never forgot my original shaman. She was the first character I leveled up to 70, back when that was the leveling cap. She was getting close to maxing out her engineering skill (which, I do believe, is one of the hardest professions in the game). And she actually had her flying mount and epic gear already. But I couldn’t make that final decision and just transfer her already.

Then last week I log into my non PvP server and I do a double-take. Standing in the login screen is Sinadia, in her epic gear, and it takes me a good 10 or 20 seconds to put it together cause I’m bewildered as to how my long-missed shaman has suddenly appeared in my new server. And that was five days ago and I still can’t believe that Rock rushed home to his computer after work (on his bike, no less) to log into my account and pay to transfer my character and make sure she was all ready to go before I got home. It is the most romantic thing that’s ever happened to me :)

So there she is. She did get a slightly new name because Sinadia was taken on the new sever, but Sinnadia is close enough I suppose. I can’t wait to work on her engineering skills again and see if I can build myself a motorcycle (why, yes, I did pick engineering as a profession because I’m an engineer, but I think this post has already established that I’m a nerd). Now I need to come up with something equally outstanding and awesome to surprise Rock with. Any ideas?

Mood: lovey
Music: Broken River Prophet's "With Infinite Arms to Cradle the Flames" (it's finally mine! so awesome...)
Movie: City of Ember (soooo you're telling me that all this time you haven't figured out how to use fire for heat and light and cooking? oookaaay... and the best the builders could do for an exit strategy was a water park slide of death? i guess that was to make sure only the fittest survived to repopulate...i see what you did there)