Don't Nobody Do Anything Crazy

I hadn’t been home to Honduras since 2007, which is a really long time for me. I hadn’t been able to go because of graduation and starting a job and then, in 2009, some jackass got it into his head that he would violate the Honduran Constitution repeatedly and create a huge media frenzy when he re-entered Honduras and barricaded himself in the Brazilian embassy. He was still in there when I was deciding to go. He’s been in there since October of 2009 and it’s anybody’s guess when he’s getting out…most likely in handcuffs.

Anyway, that stressed me out whenever I thought of going home for Christmas because how absolutely wonderful would it be for me to go home and then have that same jackass make a huge scene, which would then lead to airports shutting down or the U.S. closing borders to Hondurans? But I finally decided to go, especially since things had been very calm for the last month. The first few days I was expecting stuff to go down at any moment, but after a while you start to realize that the situation in Honduras is nothing more than a sociopath sitting in an Embassy while life is going on outside much as it always has. After a while, you forget he’s even there. You can drive by the Embassy where he’s locked in and see the police barricade and soldiers standing guard (how I regret not taking a picture), but that’s it. I’m glad to say the crazy stayed inside and the trip went very well. And he’s still in there…

Besides stressing out over fears of political insubordination and riots, I also had a chance to reflect on some cultural aspects of Honduras that I’ve (naturally) always taken for granted, but which now jump out at me and make me pause…here’s a list of things you may notice when traveling to Honduras that might strike you as…odd…

1. Most of the year, days are sunny to partly cloudy, temperatures range from 74 to 86 degrees F, humidity is a pleasant 55-65%, and nights get as cold as 60 degrees F….it is ridiculous how awesome the weather is every day.

Perfect weather every day...no wonder I complain about New England winters and summers

2. Nearly every meal, regardless of what it is, will also feature rice and corn tortillas…even pasta dishes.

3. Residential houses can be turned into anything: restaurants, bars, salons, boutiques, grocery stores, offices, you name it.

4. Pulperias are ubiquitous. These are your poor-man’s versions of a CVS on every corner. Home owners will often set aside a piece of their house (usually a small brick house adjacent to the main house) and set it up as a mini-convenience store. You can get food, beer, soda, cigarettes, bathroom supplies, medicine, and so on. Damn, I should have taken a picture of the one right next to my house…(not mine)

5. Any social gathering is a good excuse to throw up a piñata; this is not reserved just for birthdays, as I learned when I went with my parents to my dad’s office holiday barbecue.

Yep, that's a snowman piñata for a holiday office party :)

6. This one is odd only because it’s so eerily similar to the U.S.: there are coffee shops on every street block, some even across the street from each other.

7. The only other store more popular than coffee shops are pharmacies. There is one on every other street block.

8. Fireworks may be illegal, but there has never been a Christmas or New Year’s Eve where it didn’t sound like a war was going on in the entire city for 10 min before and after midnight on those days.

9. Hondurans will go out and drink like it’s the weekend even on Mondays, Tuesdays or Wednesdays.

10. I’ve talked before about every house having a 6 to 10 ft wall completely surrounding it (some of the wealthier mansions can get even higher), but I didn’t remember that most houses will ALSO put up bars on every window and door. Who said fire hazard?

These houses don't completely show what I'm saying because the house can also be completely removed from the wall...but, as you can see, bars everywhere

11. Any security guard, police officer, or soldier that you see will be carrying a shotgun. I think it’s a shotgun anyway, it looks like one of the weapons you can pick up in Left 4 Dead. This includes bouncers outside some bars and clubs (though those only carry a gun, not a shotgun), guards outside banks (any bank, all banks, every single one, will have armed guards at all times), vehicle patrols, and I know I’ve seen more but I can’t remember where else. Basically, don’t be shocked if you walk to a gas station or a store and someone is standing around with a bulletproof vest, a Security hat, and a shotgun.

12. During Christmas, anywhere you go, any restaurant, store, or house, will have at least three nativity scenes on display…at least.

That’s all I can remember for now. I had a longer list but I knew I would forget half of it by the time I got back. Despite all I know about myself and my horrible memory, I can never get into the habit of writing things down constantly :(